My past, like many others I'm sure as well, is filled with happiness as well as pain, sorrow and regret. As I move through life I look back on my accomplishments and find joy and on my failures and wish I could erase them. But no matter how hard I try or want to I can not change the past, I can only rewrite the path of my future.
Each and everyone of us are blessed with our own circumstances and trials in our lives. We can spend our life idly wishing for things to be different, or we can take the time to make what we have what we want. We will never know who's blessings are another's trials and vise-versa. In my life I do not strive to be extremely wealthy, have magazine worthy beauty or world recognized talent. While all those things I'm sure would be nice, in the end all of that is left behind.
The one thing I wish and work for is to be a loving wife, a beloved daughter, a devoted friend and hopefully one day a loving mother. Some that know me have heard me say that the only thing that matters in life are your family and friends, because in the end that is who will be there with you. And while I believe that whole heartedly, and I try to make sure those people know that I love them and would do anything for them, there are many times that I am a failure at this one important thing.
I am not proud to say that there have been times that I have resented my parents, ignored my family and gossiped about friends. Those things are awful to do to the people you love, and I wish that excuses like me being an imperfect person, or caught up in the trials of life were good enough to explain those away but they are not. Nothing can excuse those kind of actions, they are shamefully, and permanently etched in my past. the only thing I can do now is apologize for my mistakes and try to better myself for tomorrow.
One of my very favorite and uplifting talk by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Of Regrets and Resolutions" says; "We are all mortal. I hope this does not come as a surprise to anyone. None of us will be on earth very long. We have a number of precious years which, in the eternal perspective, barely amount to the blink of an eye." " If we fail to give our best personal self and undivided time to those who are truly important to us, one day we will regret it." "Resolve to spend more time with those we love. Resolve to strive more earnestly to become the person God wants us to be. Resolve to find happiness regardless of our circumstance." "We cannot go back in time and change the past, but we can repent. The Savior can wipe away our tears of regret. His Atonement allows us to leave the past behind and move forward with clean hands, a pure heart, and a determination to do better and especially become better."
I hope that I can bring a renewed meaning of those words into my life. I want to be happy, and I want to surround myself with loved family and friends that know how much they mean to me. I hope I can make the most of the time we have on this earth. I cannot promise I will never falter, I can only promise to try.
To my parents, thank you so much for raising me with love and teaching me to do my best and to work hard for what I want and for always being willing to be there to offer help when I needed it most. I hope that one day I can teach my children the same.
To my brothers and sisters thank you for giving me a hard time but for also loving me. I know we didn't always get along but I never have and never will stop loving each of you and continuously wishing each of you the very best and the happiness you deserve in your lives.
To my friends, past and present, near and far, each and everyone of you are unique and amazing in your own way. I love everyone of you for the different things you have taught me, each of you has your own strengths that make you irreplaceable in my life. No matter if we are still friends today, have parted ways or we will be friends, again or for the first time, in the future, thank you for taking the time to be apart of my life. I am truly blessed I I can only hope that I can offer each of you the love and experiences you have shared with me.
Thank you to those that took the time to read this, I hope that if I have ever wronged or hurt you in the past I apologize and I hope you can look past my failures and remember me for the kind and loving person I try and hope to be.
-Michelle
